top of page
Writer's pictureDina Mavridis

I Was Taught That I Needed A Man's Love To Find My Worth

Updated: Jul 24, 2022

What if my goal had been ME instead?


Wix Images


I used to pray for a man to love me and to marry me.

I prayed for it every single night as a child, along with begging for my mom not to die.

...You know, actual important things?

My prayer was like a script I had memorized, where some lines would be re-written after some time, but there were those lines that never changed, including wanting a husband.

As a child I was often reminded why getting married was the ultimate goal of life.

Why though?

✔ TV.

✔ Movies.

✔ Magazines.

✔ My family.

✔ Society.

✔ I felt worthless as an individual.


I could blame all of those factors, but the most important one is that last thought. That thought has been embedded in my soul since childhood.


"My prayer was like a script I had memorized, where some lines would be re-written after some time, but there were those that never changed, like wanting a husband."

Lack of confidence will rob us of opportunities for as long as we allow it to... and I have let it take the driver's seat for far too long.


I often wonder how different my life would look, had my main goal been ME.

Had my goal been my happiness.

Had I even LIKED myself... what would that have felt like?


"No regrets, they don't work", is a line from a Robbie Williams song, and I have made sure to keep that in the front of my mind for decades.

I just can't help but wonder... (tell me I'm not alone).


What I CAN do is take the wheel, and instill confidence in my child as it becomes second-nature to me. My marriage will then take a different shape, because imagine what it will be like, when I believe I actually DESERVE my husband? This is going to change my entire life, one way or another. Of course, I hope for our marriage to grow with the years, but I am at a point in my life where I am trusting the process.

The script no longer exists; I find myself more spiritual as an adult, rather than religious. I now use affirmations and express my gratitude, so I can manifest everything I have ever desired... even self-love. In the words of Rupaul Charles, "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else? Can I get an AMEN?!"


AMEN, Ru... A-freaking-men. I hope you feel worthy and loved. - Dina xoxo








Comments


bottom of page